I #amwriting a funny #WIP: A non-fiction humor book called “The Lazy Ass Host Handbook, A Sensible Guide To Entertaining in Style.”
Most of my adult life I’ve suffered from OAHS: Over Achieving Host Syndrome, pretty common with women and a handful of men who live/die by the 3Ps:
Perfectionism and People Pleasing.
It took a domestic downfall for me, an over-achiever by nature, to stop trying to be perfect. My sense of humor returned as I learned to let go, reprioritize, and tear up To Do lists. What some call “laziness” gave me permission to have fun, say F**k It and just be.
Becoming a Lazy Ass Host was the best and hardest thing I’ve done. Laziness (lying in a hammock toking Blue Dream) gave me the space to ask: What really matters?
I discovered entertaining my peeps matters, but not when it depletes my energy, sanity, savings and wit.
To avoid an OAHS relapse I decided to write a book about the cray creative skills needed to be a Lazy Ass Host. When I tell someone I’m writing “The Lazy Ass Host, A Sensible Guide to Entertaining in Style” they usually laugh and say they can’t wait to read it ... whatever.
Some women ask they’d be a good Lazy Ass Host. OMG Perfectionism rears its pretty head!
Clue: There’s no such thing as a good or bad Lazy Ass Host!
Wanna know if you’re Lazy Ass Host material? Do you secretly dream of becoming a certified Lazy Ass Host?
Clue: It’s less rigorous than getting a Ph.D. in inorganic chemistry and what's awesome? You just have to download the Lazy Ass Host Certificate of Inauthenticity at for free. Sign the damn thing and tape it to your fridge with freezer tape. Voila!
If you’re like me and suffer from Impostor Syndrome you might still be unsure ... No worries! To help you decide I've prepared this:
A Psychological Profile of A Lazy Ass Host .
Psychological profiling is a dangerous thing but not as dangerous as the criminals the FBI hunts down using a smorgasbord of investigative techniques like personality traits and behavioral patterns indicative of say, serial killers.
Doing comedy research I was surprised to learn how many
FBI psychological profile characteristics of psychopaths and serial killers are consistent with traits common to Lazy Ass Hosts! Both share
_ A lack of remorse
_ Impulsivity and
_ Sensation seeking.
Plus Lazy Ass Hosts, like serial killers profiled by the FBI, are generally:
_ Above-average intelligence.
_ Highly skilled, orderly, cunning.
_ Attractive with degrees of social grace and charm.
Sounds like just about everyone I know. Still it’s scary. Then I discovered psychopaths, like Lazy Ass Hosts:
_ Appear normal and are often super charming folks who wear a “mask of sanity.”
Don’t know about you, but I only remove my “mask of sanity” to brush my teeth and sleep, and yeah, I hate to admit it but I’m like “super-charming” to guests (while experiencing stabs of antisocial behavior that make me want to run into the bathroom, lock the door, and tell guests to f**king help themselves to dinner) but does that make me a prospective “organized killer” or a diehard Lazy
The Good Stuff
Lazy Ass Hosts have awesome qualities like:
_ A free and fun-loving spirit.
_ An independent mind.
_ A wicked sense of humor.
_ A Lazy Ass Host isn’t desperate to impress or win over anyone except her/his own woke self.
_ A Lazy Ass Host acknowledges and takes care of her needs first, without shame or self-recrimination.
_ A woke Lazy Ass Host can’t be mind-f**ked by trends.
_ Last a Lazy Ass Host is creative. Creative with her time, energy, love, money, gifts and charm, which she shares to the degree she desires.
How did you score?
Are you ready to take the leap?
Are you in the Lazy Ass Host zone?
Do you still suffer from OAHS (Over Achieving Host Syndrome) and find it hard to let go?
Share your experience. As soon as this LAH is done power napping, I'll reply. And hey welcome to the club .
Adapted from: “The Lazy As Host Handbook: A Sensible Guide to Entertaining in Style” by Didi Balle
© 2020. Didi Balle.
Upcoming Blog Posts: Excerpts from the Lazy Ass Host Handbook by Didi Balle.